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The Best Friend Approach to Alzheimer's |
| Thursday, April 16, 2009 |
When I started to understand the reality of caring for my mother who has Alzheimer's dementia, I was like the whole world, full of doubts and questions about how to "be" with it. I felt very uncomfortable when stories are repeated endlessly, or a mixture of the characters in them. And when the memory of my father began to disappear and be replaced by memories of childhood, I was surprised, confused and very sad.
I felt guilty about feeling bored, the insufficiency in the end (where I was wise, earthy, intuitive mother to help me figure this out?). But above all I had questions: Is it proper care of her, bring her back to the here and now, as a sister of my opinion? Is strengthening its grip on "reality", to stimulate your mind and slow its decline? My instinct was let go, to go along with her story when she was leader, but perhaps this was a skinny, maybe she needed me to your anchor in this world?
I can not say I never really answers that satisfy me, so it was left to follow my intuition - only confirmed that I have found the best friends approach Eldercare, by Virginia Bell and David Troxel. These authors have worked for many years, compassionate with the long-term care of people with Alzheimer's disease. The idea behind his approach is that what parents - or old - most need is just a best friend, someone who is understanding, positive and encouraging. Anyone who did not judge them, correct them, tell them what to do or how to think or behave.
In the discovery of this method, I feel very validated. I realize that I became a conflict when I looked at my mother through the lens of a disease. But when I saw her, just like my mom, I took as I met her, and give you the same simple human kindness to me any friends. Do not lecture me, correct or try to "improve" her, my job is to connect with her, and to comply with their support and where it is.
Here are some of the basic principles behind the best friend of the approach.
Go with the flow - Caring for her father about what he is happy, safe and comfortable. If your father says: "I am eating breakfast now," might be tempted to say that it is dinner time in hopes of making it less confusing, but it is not helpful, simply saying, "Yum, it smells good." Just go with the flow and enter their world.
Let Go of Perfectionism - Choose activities you enjoy, and his father do not worry if done properly. If s / may not follow the rules of a card game over, try to sort the cards into suits and colors. If s / he likes to help around the house, give you a specific task to do, like folding clothes. No matter if it is done perfectly. What matters is that your parent is the fun and feel useful.
Above all, show respect - remember that theirs is a relationship that consists of adult activities and adult communication. Even if your father has Alzheimer's disease, there is no need to play games intended for children or to talk as if they were children. Promote their dignity above all else.
Kathleen Daniel, MS, L.Ac. writes about the change and the transition from the inside, the combination of knowledge and experience of a lifetime practice of yoga with her work as an acupuncturist, organizational consultant, educator, and life and leadership coach. A student at Johns Hopkins leadership program for Women, also takes active reflection and renewal retreats for women. Website: http://www.aheadofthecurveatmidlife.com |
posted by neptunus @ 6:32 PM  |
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